It appears to be that time again.
I can guarantee you our family is complete. There will not be another. Three is our number.
BUT, there are times when the urge is so great. The wanting, the needing for another child.
Thankfully it doesn't last long - a day, two days, 10 minutes.
When I saw this account of human life by Tim a few weeks back, I was reduced to tears. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I wanted that feeling again, that high you get after giving birth and meeting your child for the first time.
I needed another child.
For me, having a newborn baby is one of the most beautiful things in the world. The smell, the feeding, the love that is manifested. But, as much as I wish they could, they don't stay that way for long. The fact that my baby girl is already one saddens me.
And then I begin to think logically.
For me, it's not about the pregnancy, or about the labour. Both, I feel, are a priviledge bestowed upon me, and I could happily do that again. (Isn't it great how we can forget the pain of labour!) It's not even the sleepless nights. As crap as they can be, they, too, pass.
It's about the future. It's about my mental health, our financial health, our plans to see the world, to educate. These things would be made all that bit harder if our family were larger.
We are so grateful and proud of the children that we have. Grateful mostly that they, and we, are healthy. We have been truly blessed by these three children and we could not ask for anything more. Our family is now complete.
If it did turn out that the pattern was followed (which it hasn't been!), I would be with child again, and said child would be due in December. If the urge is great around that time, we may have to be considering a puppy for Christmas!
So, what's your number? Is your family complete? Do you get these urges? Do they GO AWAY??