Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Boys?? Hold Up, Sorry, What?!

It seems we have a first crush on our hands.  It was only not long ago she turned five, and now she's talking about boys while getting all giggly and coy.  She's FIVE.  Is this NORMAL??

It's not just any boys though.  One boy in particular, and depending on what day it is, possibly this boys older brother as well.  We're not talking a kinder boy either.  No, no.  She's already showing her penchant for older boys.  These lucky boys are older brothers of one of her good kinder friends.  This kinder friend is also in Ruby's dance class, so, if she's lucky, she might get to see them a couple of times a week.  If we are in the car and we see them she will always call out and wave.  If, however, we see them a bit more personally, she all of a sudden goes a whole lot shyer.  Now, when I say older, I don't mean by a couple of years.  The main boy is 10, the other boy is 13!!

It's actually been going on for a little while.  There was one particular instance at dancing when Ruby and her friend were in their class and Ruby waved to the brothers.  The younger brother smiled and gave the peace sign back to her. I think this is when her heart melted.  She's been doing the peace sign ever since.

Yesterday morning she was excited to tell me about her dream the night before.
R: "It was a really good one"
Me: "Oh yeah, what was it about?"
R: "Will!"
Me: "Oh yeah, and what about Will?" gulp
R: "I don't want to tell you"
Me: "It's OK, you can tell me" 
R: "Ummm"
Me: "It's OK, what happened in your dream?"  It took her a few minutes to get up the courage.
R: "I gave him a kiss and a cuddle", she proclaimed proudly, but still with apprehension.
Me: "Oh, OK".  I thought for a little bit and then replied "Can you show me what it was like?"
R: "Yes!"  She walked up to me, swung her arms around my neck, squeezed, gave me a little peck on the cheek, and then stood back and grinned.  It really was sweet.

I asked her late why she didn't want to tell me, whether she was shy or scared or embarrassed.  She asked me what embarrassed meant.  She then said she was scared that I would laugh at her.  It made me think about this next stage of parenting and how important it is going to be to not judge them.  To not laugh at them or tell them what they are thinking is silly.  But rather to appreciate that how and what they are thinking is real to them, and that it's OK.  And ultimately to show them, through actions and words, that as parents, we will always be there for them to share those feelings and experiences.  I hope we are able to successfully do this.

(I asked Ruby if she wanted to draw a picture of her dream. This was her creation.  It's for Will)

Have you encountered first crushes?  How have you dealt with them?  She's Five!!


  1. OHHHHHHHH that is soooo awesome! Im in love with her being in love! Its even more cute that she was worried what you would think!

    So awesome - if only she could be reminded of these feelings when shes grown up -

    Mel G

  2. That is so cute and so beautifully innocent! I love your approach, I never had that relationship with my parents where I could talk about boys, I hope to one day have a safe, fun and judgement free environment where my babies can talk to me about that cute boy! I still remember my first "love", I was 7, his name was Jordan Black and he had the most dreamy Backstreet Boys undercut, I felt weak at the knees! ;)

  3. I like the way you are approaching this. Lots of mother wisdom there. I so very much hope I am not dealing with this at five with my girls though!! xx

  4. My children still think they can marry each other (my son is 7, 8 in May and my daughter is 6).....obviously they have put no thought into this! haha

  5. That is so sweet - love her drawing. This crush is going to be the first of many. Love this post! xo

  6. Oh gosh no, not yet. I guess all I can say is that you have a very loving little one there - at this age it is all so innocent. I guess she just likes him. Though one thing I do know - when they turn about eight/nine/ten the whole effect is reversed and you can breath a big sigh...for a little while.

    Nina x

  7. So sweet. My five year old had her first crush at 4 with a 13 year old! She would blush at the sight of him. Now at five she thinks boys smell! Hopefully she keeps that up for a while!! Love Rubys drawing!!

  8. Oh this post is just so sweet! Bless her cottons. I had a little 'boyfriend' at that age(ish) - Edward Jones. I went to his birthday party and he kissed me on the cheek when I gave him his present. I got so embarrassed I hid behind the sofa! x

  9. I hope my two boys will be known as the 'brothers' when they are older and get waves from beautiful little girls! ;)

  10. Like I said earlier today, I love your approach and your insight. I will need to remember this in a few year's time! I had my first crush when I was five too, on a dreamy blue-eyed boy called Glen (ironically, he didn't want anything to do with me, but his twin brother had a crush on ME!)

  11. Thank you milina. So nice to meet you. I am cooking dinner so will revisit this post for a read. I just wanted to say hi! xo

  12. Adorable! You are so right about you're next stage of parenting. I grew up always afraid of being myself in fear of being laughed at... I would think i probsbly had a couple of made experiences at this young sge! Good luck with the crush xxx it really is very sweet


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