Thursday, May 23, 2013
Sometimes I fight it, being a Mother.
I'm a person that needs solitude, peace and reflection time. I always have done. My Mum will tell me that when I was very young, all of my siblings would be playing and I would go off to be by myself. Now this could have been because I wanted some quiet time, or it could have been because, with three older brothers I just didn't want to play rugby again, or to have a fight with my younger sister and see who won!
But the point is I've always needed solitude. Time to be alone.
Now I don't only need it, I crave it.
Without it, my head gets restless, stress builds, my body tenses, I'm quick to react, I'm moody, I lose focus and I fight the daily motions of what being a mother entails.
It's a pattern. I work on what I need, make time for myself and all runs smoothly. It's all running smoothly, I let one of my needs go, and then another. Things get hazy, I find myself down that same street, down that same hole. I know how I got there. I'm here, AGAIN!
If someone asked me what the hardest thing about being a Mother was, and in my case, a stay-at-home Mother, I would tell them that what I have found to be the hardest is looking after myself. Physically, mentally and emotionally. If I'm not doing well in these area's, the family foundations start to shake. There is more rain than rainbows, and I start missing the rays of sunshine.
It's a challenge, and for me, one that needs focus on a daily basis.
So, what is changing?
Alarms have been set earlier and I am rising before the sun and before the children to have the solitude I so need.
I try to be in the moment.
I give thanks.
New habits need to be formed. I'm working on more embracing, and less fighting. I'm working on it.
How do you work on your own needs?