Thursday, May 23, 2013

Solitude


Sometimes I fight it, being a Mother.

I'm a person that needs solitude, peace and reflection time.  I always have done.  My Mum will tell me that when I was very young, all of my siblings would be playing and I would go off to be by myself.  Now this could have been because I wanted some quiet time, or it could have been because, with three older brothers I just didn't want to play rugby again, or to have a fight with my younger sister and see who won!

But the point is I've always needed solitude.  Time to be alone.

Now I don't only need it, I crave it.

Without it, my head gets restless, stress builds, my body tenses, I'm quick to react, I'm moody, I lose focus and I fight the daily motions of what being a mother entails.

It's a pattern. I work on what I need, make time for myself and all runs smoothly.  It's all running smoothly, I let one of my needs go, and then another.  Things get hazy, I find myself down that same street, down that same hole.  I know how I got there.  I'm here, AGAIN!

If someone asked me what the hardest thing about being a Mother was, and in my case, a stay-at-home Mother, I would tell them that what I have found to be the hardest is looking after myself.  Physically, mentally and emotionally.  If I'm not doing well in these area's, the family foundations start to shake.  There is more rain than rainbows, and I start missing the rays of sunshine.

It's a challenge, and for me, one that needs focus on a daily basis.

So, what is changing?

Alarms have been set earlier and I am rising before the sun and before the children to have the solitude I so need.

I move.
I breathe.
I try to be in the moment.
I reflect.
I give thanks.
I rehydrate.
I nourish.
I prepare.

New habits need to be formed.   I'm working on more embracing, and less fighting.  I'm working on it.

How do you work on your own needs?

4 comments:

  1. oh I hear you. only I am total rubbish at it! once I am alone - and not the kind where I go to the shops by myself to run errands, but genuinely alone - I don't know what to do with myself! I too have been setting my alarm before the kids wake but waking to find little people have climbed in next to me during the night means they stir as I try to free myself from entangled arms and legs.. and almost ALWAYS end up waking one of them. then I think - what is the bloody point?!?!?!! and round we go.. but I think I need more focus - and you've just given me a little push again xx

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  2. Oh my beautiful Milina, take some time out and do it for the both of us will ya! You are doing such an amazing job babe. Same here, I miss looking after me sometimes. Not everything but that head space, I don't get much of that. The other stuff I have to, as it makes me function. If I don't do that, the family doesn't function.

    You will get your mojo back beba and you have the right combo in place.

    I love you xx Dani

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  3. being a stay at home mum is hard, sometime i think it would be easier to get a 'real' job.. then I remind myself that my little people need me. I too need to look after myself better, really looking forward to a weekend away with friends in 2 weeks.
    I have also blogged about frustrations,, I think sometime people only blog what we WANT people to see I think its important to keep it real.

    Beautiful post x

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  4. I feel for you and i feel the same! I'm working on looking after myself during this winter and beyond. It's already starting to work although it really is baby steps. 'the way of the happy woman' has been my companion book during this time x

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