Wednesday, September 24, 2014

I've been thinking about getting a tattoo


I posted this picture on A Year Of Motherhood yesterday.  We don't usually caption our images, but I felt the need to caption this one.

Yesterday was a big day on a personal level for me.  I felt completely drained; emotionally, physically and mentally.  I wanted to capture me, as I was, drained, but looking forward.  Saying goodbye to beliefs that were so deeply ingrained I didn't even know they existed.  Yesterday marked a day of moving on, releasing, and truly being excited about it, and excited for my family.

I know, I can hear you saying, "I came here to read about tattoo's, this has got nothing to do with tattoo's!"

Well, lately I've been thinking about getting a tattoo that represented my children, but I'll get back to that later.

So, anyway, I took a few photo's, and as I was going through them I noticed something significant.  You see that pigmentation up there beside my right eye?  I have not really noticed just how big it is.  I normally wear glasses, which cover it, and it's in just the position where I can't see it in its entirety when I look in the mirror.  

I have not always had that mark.  It's a birthmark of sorts, but it's not my birthmark.  It's the birthmark of my three children combined.  Without them, I would not have this mark.  My body hasn't changed a whole lot since being pregnant with three children.  My weight fluctuates a little, but in fact, I like it, and certainly appreciate it more now than I ever did (apart from the boob droppage, that is).

But this mark, this is something that I could not change, even if I wanted to.  This mark started with my first pregnancy, and grew with each child.

This mark is the tattoo that represents my children perfectly.  Ok, I wouldn't normally choose to have a tattoo on my face*, but if I look into it further, maybe it's close to my eyes, so it's close to my soul. (Yeah, I know how wanky that sounds!)

If you're going to tell me I'm copping out of getting a tattoo (which I still may get) because of the pain.  Well, I can guarantee you that birthing three children with no drugs is a whole lot more painful than having yourself etched with ink.  And yes I have been through both experiences!

This photo represents so much to me.  It's me.  Me with the marks of my children.  Me with the freckles and broken capillaries.  Me with the laugh lines and smudged mascara.  This is me.

Has having children changed your body in ways you cannot change?  Have your children given you a tattoo of sorts?

* This was actually one of the first questions my Mother-In-Law asked Johnny when he told his parents about me and that I was from New Zealand. "Does she have tattoo's all over her face?".  :/

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4 comments:

  1. My battle scars on my stomach are tattoos I wear proudly - without my kids taking up residency in there and stretching their quarters to buggery, I would not have those scars and therefore I do not want them to every go away. The scarred hair - the greys? yeah well I can do without them. I love this picture of you hun - you are beautiful to the core xx

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  2. Wear them with pride. Tiger stripes! Thanks so much hun, you too are an absolute beauty xx

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  3. I have old eyes since having my three boys. My eyes tell the story of a million sleepless hours. They tell of pacing the landing floor night after night. They tell the tale of worry when my eldest was at his first party, and didn't come in until 3.00am. They tell of eyes barely open while sipping my fifth coffee of the morning. I don't mind my old eyes. I'm not too fond of boobs that look like two golf balls in a sock though ;) Lovely post xxx

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  4. Thank you Leanne. I am quietly already anxious about the teenage years, and those party nights. I'm thinking the sleep deprivation might be like going back to a newborn! The boobs - sigh! xx

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